Rapid Fat Loss Diets

Friday, April 17, 2009

Try Not To Be A Puny Twiglet All Your Life - Check Out How To Gain Muscle Here

By The Buff Jerk

Hello Loser! You're probably reading this article now because you're living the second class life of a scrawny twig. Am I right? Of course I am! You wound up on this webpage, didn't you?!

I know you've been searching online for a while now, looking for some sort of special 'secret' to gain muscle. Well, I can tell you now, that there are no secrets or quick fixes to doing it. However, there are two very common, well known strategies that you can follow to gaining muscle. Are you ready for them?... Okay... To gain muscle, you have to eat right... and lift weights. Thats it!

Let's you and I get a few things straight before we go any further. I'm a rude, obnoxious jerk! If you met me, I can guarantee that you wouldn't like me. But guess what... I couldn't care less! I can score chicks in my sleep with a physique like mine, so do you really think I value your opinion? Heck NO!

I do have vast knowledge on gaining muscle. It's part of my job. And after all, that's why my body's so beautiful! So I might as well point a few scrawny twerps like you in the right direction while I've got nothing to do.

When I first began gaining muscle myself, I searched through and read information on the internet a heck of a lot, and now, I can tell you from my first hand experience, that there is so much B.S. on the internet nowadays on how to gain muscle. So many companies trying to sell you lots of useless, powders, pills and supplements. And 'body builders' trying to give you their amazing workout programs that helped them gain X amount of lbs for the summer (which they probably just copied from some online magazine or something).

If you really are waiting to hear the 'big secret' that helped me gain muscle when I first started out, then here it is. Top of the range muscle gain programs. You can download one online these days for about the price of a tub of protein. Only a retard could go wrong with a proper program in their locker. It just makes gaining muscle a no brainer for anyone. You just basicly read the instructions and away you go. And you're not a retard, are you?

Mind you, there are only a handful of top quality programs out there, and all the rest don't really give you the whole picture - so don't get scammed!

A good program will tell you what you must know, including the following:-

* What to eat

* How often you need to eat

* The foods you should eat and why

* The foods you'll need to avoid

* How to train in the gym

* How many times you'll need to train per week (depending on your goals at that specific time)

* How long to train in the gym

* The correct exercises and form to perform them in

* What not to do in the gym

* The important roles that hormones play when gaining muscle

* How to control your hormones to help you bulk up quicker (including growth hormone and testosterone)

* The importance of, and the best ways to rest when gaining muscle

I could sit here all day and night. The list goes on and on...

Anyway, like I was saying before... Instead of hitting the gym and doing what you're friends tell you to do, or what you've read online, spend a few bucks on getting professional information and you'll not go wrong.

How many weird supplements, tubs of protein and monthly gym memberships have you paid for so far? And how much success have you had? I'm gonna guess little or none! So quit being a whiney loser and tackle the problem from the source. Get yourself a proper 1 2 3 guide on what to do to gain muscle. Or you can just stay a skinny twerp forever - it really doesn't bother me!

Take care loser! - 17273

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