The Fear of Food Must be Broken To Beat Obesity
Fast weight loss is every obese person's dream diet, but when I introduce my new clients to my proven plan they panic when I tell them they must eat to succeed. This is something I actually understand. When I weighed 256 pounds and was so depressed I was worried for my safety, I found a naturopath who would run the blood tests I wanted to see if my liver was to blame. After giving her my medical and dieting history and explaining why I felt it was my liver causing the problems she agreed to let me do things my way. I thought I had convinced her. Nine months later when I had lost 136 pounds and returned for the final blood work that would prove my liver theory, she shared with me her first impression. She had written in her notes: "Patient views food as poison."
We both laughed at that, but it was not far from the truth. Not just for me, but as I have learned from helping so many other obese women it is a common theme among the obese. None of us feel that we can trust food because we cannot trust ourselves with it. It has been the cause of all our weight problems, not actual food, but our unhealthy relationship with it. For this reason we come to fear it.
For those of us who have grown up with obesity or entered the dieting world early, we have no idea what "normal" eating is. All we know is how to diet or not diet, and the not diet has nothing to do with eating right. We have proven to ourselves over and over again, that we have no control over the food we eat except when on a structured diet, and then it is only until we can't do it anymore.
When I ask my new obese clients how they would eat if they were a normal person they either tell me that normal people can eat anything they want, which of course we all know is not true, and then they shrug. They have no idea how to eat in moderation or even wat to eat. My program requires obese clients to start off with a diet of 1800 calories. Without fail, they each tell me that is way too many calories and that they will gain weight. It takes me the two weeks of discovery that I require to convince them otherwise.
That first week almost everyone of my clients feel lost. They try to eat, but when I go over their food lists with them it is obvious they are living on typical diet foods and quantities, and most don't get even close to the 1800 calories. I always say, obese men and women are experts in starving. Where we have no experience is in eating to maintain our weight. By the second week I have them eating better whole foods, but still with apprehension. It isn't until the third or even fourth week before they start to trust the process and open their minds to how great it can be to eat foods that taste good and satisfy their daily appetites as well.
I don't believe there is anyone diet that works for everyone. We all have different likes and dislikes and our bodies react to certain foods in both positive and negative ways. Some of us do better with low fat, some thrive on higher fats. Some of us are insulin resistant with some foods spiking our blood sugar while others can eat what they want. We also have different appetites that dictate if we are grazers or three meal a day type of eaters. There is no one right or wrong way to eat. Yet most obese men and women feel they have to conform to dieting standards which have always been about deprivation and obsession.
Dieting is exactly what has made us all afraid of eating, yet to lose weight and keep it off for life, learning to eat is imperative. That's no brainer you are thinking, yet in my experience getting people to eat is more difficult than getting them to diet. When they do eat foods that they thought were only available during the overeating phase of their life they feel guilt and have a hard time enjoying it.
When I start a new client on this program, their first week proves how true the above statement is. They eat tentatively. The foods tend to come from their dieting history, the amounts minimal. I pick out these dieting foods and ask why they chose to eat them. Their answer is surprising. Not only was the food not satisfying, but oftentimes they ate food they didn't like because that is what their dieting brain told them was the only acceptable choice. Now, there are diets out there on the market that promote lots of eating choices. They work for some, but the problem is they are small amounts for the calories, and most obese men and women need bigger servings, and when they eat higher fat, sugar, or salted foods, cravings dictate that one serving is never enough. That creates more fear of food, and that fear limits viable choices in their idea of what they can and cannot eat for weight loss. I make it clear, I do not want to see those diet foods in their menu again. Panic ensues.
Making that switch is not easy. It takes me a while to calm their nerves and get them to trust the process. Once they do, they are surprised by the types of foods they can have in their lives and that yes, even with 1800 calories a day they can maintain their weight while feeling satisfied and full. But still that nagging thought that they are cheating, that they are breaking the dieting rules persist. Even when they are experiencing fast weight loss.
For so many years the obese have fought their inability to control their weight and take responsibility for their relationship with food. That loss of control makes food the enemy for some, and an abusive lover for others. But food is only as powerful as e make it. The obese must open their eyes to the true value of food. It is nutrition for the body. Like gasoline for a car. There is no need to fear it, there is only a need to build a solid relationship with it where we are the ones in charge. - 17273
We both laughed at that, but it was not far from the truth. Not just for me, but as I have learned from helping so many other obese women it is a common theme among the obese. None of us feel that we can trust food because we cannot trust ourselves with it. It has been the cause of all our weight problems, not actual food, but our unhealthy relationship with it. For this reason we come to fear it.
For those of us who have grown up with obesity or entered the dieting world early, we have no idea what "normal" eating is. All we know is how to diet or not diet, and the not diet has nothing to do with eating right. We have proven to ourselves over and over again, that we have no control over the food we eat except when on a structured diet, and then it is only until we can't do it anymore.
When I ask my new obese clients how they would eat if they were a normal person they either tell me that normal people can eat anything they want, which of course we all know is not true, and then they shrug. They have no idea how to eat in moderation or even wat to eat. My program requires obese clients to start off with a diet of 1800 calories. Without fail, they each tell me that is way too many calories and that they will gain weight. It takes me the two weeks of discovery that I require to convince them otherwise.
That first week almost everyone of my clients feel lost. They try to eat, but when I go over their food lists with them it is obvious they are living on typical diet foods and quantities, and most don't get even close to the 1800 calories. I always say, obese men and women are experts in starving. Where we have no experience is in eating to maintain our weight. By the second week I have them eating better whole foods, but still with apprehension. It isn't until the third or even fourth week before they start to trust the process and open their minds to how great it can be to eat foods that taste good and satisfy their daily appetites as well.
I don't believe there is anyone diet that works for everyone. We all have different likes and dislikes and our bodies react to certain foods in both positive and negative ways. Some of us do better with low fat, some thrive on higher fats. Some of us are insulin resistant with some foods spiking our blood sugar while others can eat what they want. We also have different appetites that dictate if we are grazers or three meal a day type of eaters. There is no one right or wrong way to eat. Yet most obese men and women feel they have to conform to dieting standards which have always been about deprivation and obsession.
Dieting is exactly what has made us all afraid of eating, yet to lose weight and keep it off for life, learning to eat is imperative. That's no brainer you are thinking, yet in my experience getting people to eat is more difficult than getting them to diet. When they do eat foods that they thought were only available during the overeating phase of their life they feel guilt and have a hard time enjoying it.
When I start a new client on this program, their first week proves how true the above statement is. They eat tentatively. The foods tend to come from their dieting history, the amounts minimal. I pick out these dieting foods and ask why they chose to eat them. Their answer is surprising. Not only was the food not satisfying, but oftentimes they ate food they didn't like because that is what their dieting brain told them was the only acceptable choice. Now, there are diets out there on the market that promote lots of eating choices. They work for some, but the problem is they are small amounts for the calories, and most obese men and women need bigger servings, and when they eat higher fat, sugar, or salted foods, cravings dictate that one serving is never enough. That creates more fear of food, and that fear limits viable choices in their idea of what they can and cannot eat for weight loss. I make it clear, I do not want to see those diet foods in their menu again. Panic ensues.
Making that switch is not easy. It takes me a while to calm their nerves and get them to trust the process. Once they do, they are surprised by the types of foods they can have in their lives and that yes, even with 1800 calories a day they can maintain their weight while feeling satisfied and full. But still that nagging thought that they are cheating, that they are breaking the dieting rules persist. Even when they are experiencing fast weight loss.
For so many years the obese have fought their inability to control their weight and take responsibility for their relationship with food. That loss of control makes food the enemy for some, and an abusive lover for others. But food is only as powerful as e make it. The obese must open their eyes to the true value of food. It is nutrition for the body. Like gasoline for a car. There is no need to fear it, there is only a need to build a solid relationship with it where we are the ones in charge. - 17273
About the Author:
Carlene Jones is a Fast Weight Loss Coach for the Obese. There are before and after photos of herself and her clients on her website. In her workbook Fat Brain Lies Lies she helps the obese come to terms with their relationship to food so they can build a livable unique diet to take them to their goals and keep the weight off for life.
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